A Difficult Decision By Latik Townsend-Espinal AIU Online For some time now, my husband and I have slowly been drifting apart. We have our good days and bad days (mostly bad). It wasn’t always this way. We use to be so close and always been able to read each other like we were connected mentally. But as time goes on things change and so do people. Sometimes change is for the best and sometimes change can make things worse than what they were.
After ten years of being together, my husband decides he needs to fix himself and wants to separate from me for awhile but still live in my house. It took me awhile to comprehend what he was saying because I didn’t know we were having problems. After hearing the mid-life crises, my first thought was to just throw him out that moment but I had to stop and think what is best for my family. I was more worried about our kids than I was for myself. I told him I decided that he doesn’t get to make this decision on his own, we both do.
After talking for awhile, he decided to let me make the decision. I decided we need to go to counseling and find out what the problem is so we can save our family. During our sessions, I found out that a lot of men go through this situation and as a wife I must be able to understand and be there for my husband in his time of need and do whatever it takes to make him feel better about his self. In the beginning, our marriage was wonderful. We never argued, always had something to talk about and always found time for date night.
I had a son when I met my husband so he married into an instant family. Right around our three month anniversary, I found out I was pregnant with our daughter. My husband claimed he was happy but secretly I knew he wanted a boy because that’s all he would talk about was having a son. I was just happy to have a healthy baby. When our daughter was born, I noticed he really wasn’t paying any attention to her. He acted like she had some kind of contagious disease. I was furious but I kept my feelings to myself. Everything was going smoothly for the next nine years.
Then during our tenth anniversary party, my husband best friend made a toast about my husband and I having another ten years together, when my husband remarks “we will see about that”. That’s when I started thinking something was wrong. A few months later my husband tells me he needs to find himself. I didn’t know what to say. He claims he is feeling over whelmed by everything and that he feels cheated out of his younger years. He wants a separation but doesn’t want to leave the house, but inside I wanted to throw him out. We sat down and tried to find a solution to our problems.
Finally, we decided to go to counseling. During our sessions, we found out that we need to communicate our feelings to each other and not hold them in. We decided to stay together and work through our problems. We still go to counseling and our relationship is better than ever since we started communicating our feeling to each other. In conclusion, every relationship has its ups and downs but trying to pretend they don’t exist is the worst thing you can do. Be open and honest with each other. Communication is the key to a healthy relationship and a lasting one.