?You never want to hold me after sex, you just go to sleep or watch tv. I didn’t know you would like me to hold you after sex I just figured its relaxing time and that is something that relaxes I thought both of us. You never touch and caress me before we have sex. We never talked about this before; you never gave me indication that you wanted me to do that I just can’t help myself when I am in the mood. You don’t talk sexual to me before or during sex. You don’t talk sexual to me so we didn’t talk about it to each other. You don’t kiss me long before and during sex.
We don’t kiss long because we are always on a time limit. You need to talk to me about this so I know not to rush. You never change positions when we have sex. You never told me you wanted to try different ways. I was doing what I thought made you feel comfortable. It’s up to you which way we go. Husband (Dan) and Wife(Tiffany) talk about many topics in their sex life. Scenario 1 When Tiffany talks to Dan about important issues about bills, the kids and work he barely says anything or gives an input. When Tiffany talks about their sex life, Dan gives a simple answer on “whatever you want to do, sweetie”.
This is an example of poor communication skills. Dan needs to learn how to be a active listener. Tiffany is talking about important subjects in their life and Dan should put his own input into them being its his life to. As for not paying attention to Tiffany when communicating about their sex life, this can put tension on a relationship and Tiffany just starts to not discuss anything with Dan. This is not how a marriage to be. Dan could ask questions about the topics Tiffany is bring up. Tiffany could give Dan some ideas on what options they have in certain areas.
Dan can take some time to think about all the ideas Tiffany has put in front of him. Scenario 2 Dan asks Tiffany if she likes oral sex. Tiffany doesn’t say anything and goes talking about work today. Dan asks Tiffany again, and Tiffany’s face gets all red and she becomes shy. This is an example of becoming comfortable with your partner. If you are not fully honest how anyone is supposed to read your mind of what you like and don’t like. Instead of Tiffany not responding this is a good time for Tiffany to response to Dan to have this open conversation about oral sex that they endure together.
Tiffany can give permission to still have Dan give her oral sex Tiffany can ask Dan questions when she gives him oral sex Tiffany can go into detail on what she likes and doesn’t like to make her oral sex pressure betterl Scenario 3 Tiffany calls Dan at work on her lunch break and says “I can’t wait to see you tonight, I want to make sweet love to you” Dan gets happy and has this message stuck all day in his head until he gets home, and Tiffany is already sleeping. Dan gets upset and walks out into the kitchen and makes something to eat and bangs some things down on the table. This is an example of expectations are ran low.
Dan had a scenario playing out in his head and as soon as he got home his reaction of anger came out. Tiffany also should have talked to Dan about this being she was the one that put the idea in his head. Dan could try to wake Tiffany up in a sweet matter Tiffany could have warned Dan she was tired or wasn’t feeling good all of a sudden Instead of being upset and angry, Dan should talk to Tiffany when she is up on how he felt. Scenario 4 Dan and Tiffany make love at least once a week. Dan is always pleasuring Tiffany but doesn’t know if he is doing something right or wrong being Tiffany doesn’t make any sounds or moans while we have sex.
Dan feels like he can’t do it right and it doesn’t feel good. This is an example of showing body language and non verbal communication. Its frustrating for a partner to not know if Tiffany is feelings good or not. Dan gets aroused when she is feeling good. Dan can tell Tiffany its ok to make noises or she can talk sexual to him. Tiffany can just start making noises because she knows Dan likes it but also indicates that she feels good to without actually saying it. Dan can make a suggestion to watch a sex movie together to get pointers.
