Diamond Johnson August 5, 2010 Final Draft Let Your Voice Be Heard Everyone has a story or past that needs to be shared, whether it is good or bad. There may be someone out there who is going through or who went through the same thing you did. The only way to find out is by opening up. By openly sharing your experience, others will follow suit. If you have ever been in an abusive relationship you know what I am talking about. We have to stand together as one, we have to be brave and help others, both young and old, cope with the past or get out of the abusive relationship now.
This is why I am telling my story, so others like me will be able to stand up and get out before it is too late. Before I was sexually and emotionally abused, I was very confident in myself. I dressed in a provocative manner because I was proud of the way I looked. When it came to males, I was very open and straight-forward with them. If I had a crush on one of them, I would tell them. Many females would go around saying that the only reason why all the guys wanted to hang with me was because I put out; however, that was not the case.
One day while I was at my friend’s house in the suburbs of South Beach, I saw this guy that was pleasing to the eyes, and I thought to myself “I have to have him”. He was sitting across the room approximately 3 feet away from where I was standing; I walked up to him and asked if he was single. He replied yes, and I then introduced myself to him and asked if there was a chance he would go on a date with me. He admired the fact that I was straight-forward with him, so he accepted the date; I even thought he was the one I wanted to grow old with.
He fit the typical stereo-type of a man being tall, dark, and handsome. He had chiseled abs, was about six feet tall, and was very muscular, I pictured him as my “superman” because I knew no one would try to hurt me because he was very strong. We connected like no other couple. Everyone admired us, to the point they came to us for relationship advice. However, it was not until we entered our second year together when we started having problems. He started becoming more demanding. At the beginning of our relationship we made a vow that we would wait to have sex ntil we were married. Apparently, he could not wait. So one day when he was in the mood (and knowing I would not comply) he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I was looking for ways to escape, the door to the room was my quickest escape route so I started kicking and screaming at him so he would stop and so I could make a dash for the door, but that just irritated him even more. So he slapped me in my face repeatedly; when that did not work he put a pillow over my face and started having his way with me.
Being as I was in love (well thought) with him, I did not go to the police. Things ultimately kept getting worse. He would always compare me to supermodels and told me I should be more like them, so therefore I would work out excessively just to lose weight, so I could be what he wanted me to be. When I lost the weight he would then say I was too skinny, so I would work-out less and eat more. When I gained weight I was too fat; I was in a lose-lose situation. I felt as if nothing I do would ever be good enough for him.
It was not until I nearly tried to kill myself when I decided that enough was enough. I was not going to live my life in an abusive relationship, so I ended the relationship by moving to Virginia. He was not the type that thought long distance relationships would work. Currently, I am in a relationship with someone I know, without a shadow of a doubt, is my soul mate. However, the abusive relationship I was previously in was hindering me from being openly forward with my boyfriend.
Meaning I could not fully express myself to him without being scared that he would yell or put his hands on me because I said something he did not like. After realizing the effect my past relationship had on me, I decided that I should tell him about my previous relationship. I felt as if this would help us grow and would help our relationship. After I told him, I felt like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. I felt as if I was free from the past. Now I am able to be myself all over again and enjoy every minute I am able to just be me.
Do not let someone run your life. Do not give them the advantage of knowing that they have hindered you from expressing the true you. Stand up for yourself no one has the right to cause you bodily harm or emotional harm. If you think you are in too deep, it is not true, there is always a way out. All you have to do is communicate with others who have been through your same experience. Let your story be told, many will benefit from it just as you have benefited from mine.