The Advantages of StupidityMost people say being stupid will lead no where. They
claim that it is the worst possible condition in which to
spend one’s life, and if possible, it should be completely
avoided. They would even suggest if the symptoms of
stupidity are caught in the early stages, it could easily be
treated by a surgeon. The most effective method used to do
this is the chainsaw technique, later described in volume
two. Yet, perhaps if people took a closer look at some
of the advantages stupidity had to offer, they wouldn’t have
such a negative attitude toward it. After reading this
paper, one will underezd the advantages of stupidity.
Admittedly, stupidity has certain disadvantages. Life isn’t
a bowl of cherries. And being stupid doesn’t make it any
fruitier. Being stupid can annoy even the most sensitive
people. If one acts stupid, and does it in the wrong crowd,
like a group of adults, it will seem more immature than
funny. If one is forced to act stupid while dealing with
lower life forms, for example, high school teachers, one may
encounter barriers such as cruelty and insensitivity, with
the utterance of statements like, “Think with your head
straight!” or, “You have a brain, use it.” Yet these are
all true, there are still many advantages to stupidity.
The first advantage is very easy to underezd. Stupid
people are never asked to do a lot. Many have noticed that
people tend to steer away from someone they feel may be
stupid. This is for a very good reason. The stupidity
which they posses makes a name for themselves, a name which
can be very difficult to shake. Possibly, it is a word
which describes the working habits of the person, such as
“crappy”. Yet, this creates a positive situation for the
stupid person.They will have a lot of free time on their
hands for more of lifes truly meaningful pleasures. Some of
these activities are combing facial hair, and counting the
pixels on a Sony TV. Now, there has been a rumour going
around that suggests that stupid people have low
expectations. This is true. They are so stupid that they
don’t realize great from O.K. They could have a Sanyo
cordless phone, but would probably choose instead a Pierre
Cardin alarm clock telephone, because it comes free with
their sensamatic folding bed. And someone with the
“advantage” of stupidity might have a hard time doing
certain tasks, or setting things up. Yet this isn’t all
bad. For example, if a stupid person leaves the chore, and
comes back to it later, no one will be able to underezd
it. Would they get fired from their job? No. For the very
simple reason that no one would underezd their work except
for them. The job would have to be given back to the stupid
person, perhaps with a higher salary, or someone would do it
for them, leaving them with even more free time!
Free time is great for brainstorming (Admittedly this seems
to be a bad choice of words!). Yet the ideas stupid people
create tend to be original. For example, when was the last
time someone stupid said something, and made one think about
it? It seems that people are always talking about someone
elses dumb idea. An example of such an idea would be, “How
many stories will that english teacher drop before having a
stroke?” This would suggest that stupid people may have the
upper hand when it comes to thinking up original ideas. In
fact, the next time someone wants an original idea for
something, they should try talking to their local, community
stupid person. The reason for this is that while a stupid
person thinks with his head, he does not do so an organized
manner. This is why they have so much creativity. By
thinking in this fashion, their ideas have a natural
tendency to flow more easily, without the interruptions
which occur from the editing of thoughts that logical people
would have normally. Thus if someone else should say to
one, “That was a stupid idea!” one should merely look that
person straight in the eye, and say, “Thank-you!” This also
means that the claim, “Stupid minds think alike.” is not
true. All stupid minds have different ideas, each idea
being original.
One of the final advantages of stupidity is that stupid
people are always remembered, even after graduation day. It
has been noticed how a quiet person is always hard to
detect, and often remains anonymous. There is a very good
reason for this. The mind has a hard time keeping quiet
people in its memory track. But it is much easier and
pleasing for the mind to remember someone really stupid.
Anyways, when was the last time one laughed at an idiot in
ones grade 12 class? When was the last time one laughed at
the little kid at the back of the room? The evidence here
proves how stupid people last longer in someones thoughts.
The largest advantage which arises from stupidity is that it
takes up 2/3 of DNA storage space, which is excellent for
keeping stupidity in the family.
Thus, stupidity clearly has many advantages, as long as
someone is smart enough to use them! It is important to
underezd that stupid people are like all other humans
physically. Yet, because of the difference between smart
and stupid people, smart human beings should give them some
breathing space. Teachers can learn that someone graced
with stupidity, deserves more respect. After all, they are
special.
