Perhaps the most Important thing that has happened In my life was moving up here. The fact that I left my home In Los Angels, willingly, to move up here with my dad, was quite unexpected, at least for everyone other than me. At three In the morning on July 3 of this year, I packed my stuff In my car, and left my mom’s house. Many people assume that because I moved up here, my whole family came too. Not the case at all. I moved by myself. And I drove from Los Angels to Sacramento, by myself at three in the morning.
I had many reasons for leaving, some of which were my rinds, family, school, etc. I have to say; I always knew that would do it. My friends however, did not. I talked about it with them on numerous occasions; most of them agreed that it would be the best for me to leave, to start over, to have a new beginning. They all said they were Jealous and that they wished they could do the same. They obviously thought though, that It was Just one of those things. I have come to realize that everyone, at one point or another, Just needs to leave and get away from everything.
It was hard moving here. ND starting over, especially considering the fact that It Is my senior year in high school. Senior year is supposed to be the best, the year that everyone looks forward to since, well, forever. Being with friends that you’ve known forever, parties, senior benefits, etc. I was lucky, I knew a few people when I started school. I don’t know what would have done with out them. It takes me a while to warm up to people; I can’t be myself until I feel comfortable with the people I’m with. Since no one knew me well, it was really difficult for me to open up.
It definitely took a lot of getting used. The school, the people, the Nor*Cal slang, living with my dad, everything. I have come to believe that moving here was the smartest thing I have ever done. Hearing about all the drama, drugs, etc. , from my friends that I still talk to In L. A. Makes me really happy that I’m not there. I am grateful that I don’t have to see my friends in compromising situations anymore, I am grateful that I don’t have to deal with all that screwed up crap that goes along with drugs and alcohol. Things change, people change, and I got sick of it.
My friends started using some really terrible drugs earlier this year, and by the end of my Junior year, I was fed up with ALL of it. They started to change, personality wise; they weren’t the same funny, goofy people that I once knew. I felt like my life had become a soap opera. A few weeks ago I got a call form my best friend; she Is one of the few people that I have stayed In contact with after moving up here. Thinking back now about the conversation we had that day seems surreal. She sounded bizarre. Her voice seemed to echo faintly, Like she was In a far away place.
She wouldn’t say anything at first, complete silence. Then, just breathing. “Coot’s dead,” she finally blurts out in uncontrollable sobbing. Not true, Not true, Not true, that’s all that went through my mind. I wanted to say something, to stop her form crying, but the million things that were going through my mind at that moment in time, prevented me from uttering, One. Single. Word. I’ve never had to deal with the death of a loved one before, let alone a best friend. Scott was one of my closest friends my sophomore year.
Last year we grew apart though, he started hanging out with different kids. Other people influenced him so easily; he did what was cool, he did what everyone else was doing. I feel like I’m partly to blame, like I could have stopped him that night from taking those pills. If I was there, I could have talked him out of it, I could have been there for him. He took his own life. After a lot of thinking, questioning, crying, I’ve come to realize that even if I was there, I could not have stopped him, no one could. He had his mind set.
He wanted to leave, and never come back. It is the experiences that everyone has that make them who they are. In a way, I’m happy that I was exposed to so much. It has made me a stronger person; I’ve matured so much over the past two years. After living in Los Angels, Granite Bay was a safe haven. I am happy to say that because of what I’ve dealt with over the past couple years I’m not tempted to do any sort drug, or drink, ever again. It is interesting to see though, that many of the kids up here have never tasted alcohol before, and cost have never done any drugs.
Its a pleasant change, I can’t even explain how satisfying it is to not worry anymore. After I became used to the change in my delicate atmosphere, I felt like a colossal weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Moving here was the hardest situation I have ever had to deal with. I made the decision entirely on my own. More like and adult I would have to say. I truly believe that I made the right decision. Absolutely worth all the grief and many hours of irrepressible tears. No Regrets.
